Notes on father... Hank Garland

I've been posting and following a blog about my father for several years. http://recordmymind.com/blog/?p=593#comments

I have family members who have the most strange imaginations I've ever come across. Paranoid and laced with conspiracy theories of the most outlandish sort, I've learned this lifetime that reality just isn't enough for some people. So for a while, I've dabbled in sharing a bit of my experiences on line. Truth be told, but for a handful of very special friends and of course relatives, I've not shared very much about my childhood. I was taught by my mother that you do not share, when your Dad is famous and is the bread winner. So I have little or no respect for tabloid types who wish that life had tapped their dance card for that 15 minutes of fame. Fame is not what its cracked up to be! <sigh>

Anyway... I've a few posts across the net about my childhood. Today I decided to post something of the truth that I'd not felt comfortable posting before now. Now its time to say something. I'm just tired... and frankly I've grandchildren and a daughter-in-law who might come across the insanity of my Dad's so called movie and the stories that surround it. It's just time to speak my peace before its too late. <wink> Hope you don't hold this against me... but if you must, I guess I can take it.. after all, I lived it! <sigh>

My post today:

There were no mafia hit men. <sigh> It was an automobile accident, period. I can add to this whole story the fact that my father was severally addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that he had visited a
psychiatrist prior to his accident. It's the most common story of all, given all the examples we've seen to date of people finding fame and the fast lane.  When you think about the disaster addictions have on peoples lives, imagine when you add the pressures of public life as well. This is the damage that my sister and I come from. There was infidelity on Dad's part. Drugs, alcohol, women and physical abuse. And frankly, my Mom wasn't prepared for dealing with this.  Dad was who he was. And for all his talent and generosity and his love, he was out of control towards the end. His friends were all deeply concerned and god bless them... silent about all this. We had nothing in the bank, what with a new house and car. After Dad's accident, his barber
brought us bags of groceries he'd collected from his church for us, because he knew we had absolutely no money! Dad's friends would give us a few dollars here and there Mom was too proud to ask anyone for help. We went from being well respected and part of the music community, to nobody with nothing, overnight. Tough lessons in store for all of us.

My uncle was not around during this time. That's why his stories have so many mistakes in them. It has to do with the lack of empathy in the stories. Don't confuse empathy with compassion or decency. It simply
means insight into a real life. Sure it was glamorous to meet big named stars and to go to the different recording studios to watch the creative process of making a record. It was fun being known in stores
and parties and such and  treated as if we were something special, but even at a very young age I recognized it was illusion. What people can't see, they seldom imagine correctly. Nope..... they imagine spectacular things that never happen in the real world. It's all just gossip in its different forms. If they knew what a monumental achievement surviving that life might have been, they'd faint! <smile>

My Mom was an ordinary midwest housewife with a great sense of humor and lots of love. She was also a punching bag for most of her so called glamorous life. My Dad was actually a genius, literally. He only had a 3rd grade education, but he had the intelligence of a college grad. He did manage to teach himself calculus and trig.<shudder> He also had the temperament of a genius. He had a wonderful laugh and loved practical jokes! Someday I may tell you about how he glued my mothers rubber flipflops to the bath room floor one night! <smile> They were full characters in a genuine life. And everytime I spoke to my father, he'd break down in tears and apologize to me for the way he treated Mom. He'd break your heart when he talked about her and how much she meant to him. I honestly believe he meant every word.... gods honest truth! <wink>

Musings on the news......

Lieberman on Iraq I just finished reading Lieberman's editorial in the Washington Post... http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/28/AR2006122801055.html entitled "Why we need more troops in Iraq". His article is concluded by calling himself an Independent Democrat. It's fairly obvious that the war of misinformation has taken it's toll on all our sanity! I'm left to conclude that democracy is the first step towards a state of dissociative disorder.

Pelosi from the kitchen to the House I watched in amazement as the first woman to lead the House of Representatives took the gavel this last week! It's been a long road for women in this nation! We lag far behind other countries in terms of equal representation of women in our government. And like our dear Mr. Lieberman's claim to be a Democrat, equality is a label only! The ERA amendment fell short of passing and what we ended up with instead was the age of escalating plastic debt. It's no wonder we're faced with a government so adamant about marriage being one man and one woman! If two women get married, they can't pay the rent!

Oprah on innocence and being a celebrity Oprah defended her choice to start and fund a school in South Africa, because the children she met in American ghetto schools wanted I-Pods and Sneakers. So apparently one of the richest women in America can't abide by materialism and keeping up with trends! That's interesting.

me...... scratching my head Okay, so far this year is starting out to be very interesting, if not just a tad more dis-functional than usual!

Ford Farewell... dressing the stage for Democrats in '07

Another former President laid to rest. And of course, the attention paid to the "healing of a nation" still sticks in my throat as I listened to the words of praise for this man who stood on the national stage for so short a period of time. Imagine.... the only man to serve in both the highest offices of this nation, purely because the men who held those positions were such utter crooks and thieves! Amazing.......
How convenient that we can reflect upon this so called "healing" at this particular time in history! Or is that my 60's cynicism flashing me back to reality once again? Is this the stage being set to face the Democrats in a few days, to remind them of the dangers of impeachment and what that would do to this nation? Imagine.... such an UnChristian like thing to bring up, impeachment! We just had numerous sermons on how sinful such a thing would be!

Buffalo Springfield
For What It's Worth
Stephen Stills, 1966

There's something happening here

What it is ain't exactly clear

There's a man with a gun over there

Telling me I got to beware

I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound

Everybody look what's going down

There's battle lines being drawn

Nobody's right if everybody's wrong

Young people speaking their minds

Getting so much resistance from behind

I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound

Everybody look what's going down

What a field-day for the heat

A thousand people in the street

Singing songs and carrying signs

Mostly say, hooray for our side

It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound

Everybody look what's going down

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you're always afraid

You step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what's that sound

Everybody look what's going down

Stop, hey, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down

Stop, now, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down

Stop, children, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down

Christmas in October?

Yesterday was a study in cultural contrasts. My youngest son and I went to the house of a relative of my oldest son. Now.... I seldom put much emphasis on Christmas, given that I'm not a Christian. Of course when my sons were small, we gave into the whole secular christmas experience for their sake. But yesterday I had a taste of other peoples traditions. I like my traditions just fine.

So this year the push has been on since before Halloween! Decorations suddenly showing up in grocery stores and drug stores with ghosts and goblins. Now... I've often thought to myself over the years how pretentious it is for children to wish for a white christmas... when winter doesn't start as a season until Dec. 21st! Sure... I know, it's the influence of an old show tune that made it into a movie, coupled with an image from Currier and Ives! Suddenly every weather man or woman is pushing the hopes of flakes of white on that special day! I appear to be looking at them, as the babble about the weather. But Christmas in October? Actually, that's closer to the date of Jesus' birth according to some scholars. Scholars aren't certain what date Jesus was actually born on. In fact, if you look up Saturnalia, you'll discover the reason we celebrate in December!

So pondering the inclusion of October into the season of Christmas, it occurred to me that we should forget the Catholic choice of December for this birthday celebration (Christ Mass) and pick a day in October! The weathers nicer, and travel is much easier. People can go outside, and get some fresh air and marvel at the changing of the colors of the leaves in fall. You can still have picnics and meet at parks. Parades would be more pleasant too! Yep... I think we should change the date of Christmas to better reflect the time when Jesus was actually born! Fire up the grill and bring on the Brauts! Toss the elves into the pile of leaves and break out that football! And when it's over, it's still nice enough outside to take down all the decorations! Makes sense!

Happy Festivus! (for the rest of us)

Happy Festivus! (for the rest of us)

Here's a holiday tip of the day.... if you clean your pole first thing in the morning, the fragrance lasts all day... even clings to the clothing of visitors! You can smell the snap of abraded aluminum in the air!

Of course, not everyone celebrates Festivus, intentionally! Some people celebrate Hanukkah. Some people celebrate the Mass of Christ. Others celebrate the season of Saturnalia with the abundance of food, drink, merriment and materialism. Some combine two traditions from the list above, without knowing why. The end result of this "not knowing why" tends to lead to the addition of some Festivus traditions being added for good measure. Too much food, too much drinking, too much preparational stress, too much idealism and projection of those ideals onto loved ones while seeking the most perfect day ever... and well.... you do end up with the Airing of Grievances and the proving of ones strength, but you miss out on the crisp smell of aluminum.
Whatever your reason for celebrating this time of year, just remember.... you have to live with it the rest of the coming year and for years to come.

Oh, and if you happen to feel that fleeting sense of warmth and well being known as LOVE.... well, that's the Festivus Miracle!