Perhaps it's time to add the Krampus back to our vocabulary. If we're going to act like we live in a Dickens novel, we may as well think it as well. Anyway... for what it's worth... Happy Holidays to all!

Every now and then I just miss her......

It's that time of year again... when I suddenly get moody and feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat for no reason whatsoever. This has been going on most of my life, so you would think I'd be getting over it by now but .... apparently not. It's not as bad as it used to be, though! <perky smile> I'm not even certain of the exact date anylonger, but this is the week my mother died. I was 15 years old when she passed. It was the result of an auto accident, very unexpected. She was in her mid 30's when she passed. Funny how at 61 I'm finally beginning to realize just how young that actually was! Not much older than my baby, and not that much younger than my oldest. Anyway.... not to wallow or anything.... just sharing that the pain still shows up even with the smiles I finally found not too long ago! Took a long time to find my way to those happy memories of her, and now they are cherished. I miss you Mom. Angel hugs......

Once upon a time <smile> I fell in love with Shakespeare. I was pretty young, in fact a preteen when this love hit me, deeply. Of course being a preteen it was circumvented by the first boy who paid attention to me! But unlike that first boy, Shakespeare has remained my heart! Hear that Dennis!? So when I started digging into the resources I found on line, on this topic I was at first taken aback by something called the Authorship Issue. Hmmmmm.... My life is nothing but learning to deal with feuds as is evidenced in this blog, so of course I was hooked immediately! Soon I was immersed in the tales of who begot whom and how this apparently proved identity. But a really smart guy named Mark Alexander set me straight with his web site Shakespeare Authorship Sourcebook, a truly remarkable site that offers the richest section of links one could hope for and of course, Mark's style of truth from his perspective is a lesson in the prose, itself! After years of newsgroup battles besides this man, I learned the mind can easily be the most deadly weapon when wielded by brilliance. From his works to the writings of one J. Thomas Looney the author of Shakespeare Identified. For anyone who is interested by the way, Mark's wondrous site is located: Shakespeare Authorship Sourcebook  From this web site I found myself reading everything I could find on the topic. I wandered over to The Shakespeare Fellowship where I found Shakespeare Matters which is filled with marvelous writers on the Authorship Issue, all them well known. On this site is an article called                      " Shakespeare's Knowledge of Law- A Journey of the History of the Arguments" which is probably the best article I've read on how the law plays into the identity of Shakespeare as one Edward De Vere. After taking the time to read and mull over what Mark shared, I then found myself on The De Vere Society UK. Now before I overwhelm you with all these sites, I've one more that I'd like to share! A German book now published in English called Anonymous Shakes-Speare Earl of Oxford the Man Behind by Kurt Kreiler  It has been a rather confusing trip to date. First of all, there are factions with the groups who have formed around the Authorship Issue. And these factions are as gnarly at times as the factions one finds when exploring politics! <smile> I am for the most part most interested in the Oxfordian story minus the factions and side stories, but that's just me. I like to find my way around the base line first before I add icing. I can share though, that these factions have a champion in the writer John Orloff II, from the Band of Brothers fame! He worked his screenplay into a project by Roland Emmerich called Anonymous. Although the story does follow some threads of what is referred to as the Prince Tudor Theory, it appears it will be great fun as a movie! The reviews certainly look promising so far. It has an all star cast which boggles the mind: Rhyus Ifans, Jamie Campbell Bower, Joely Richardson, and her amazing mother Vanessa Redgrave. And best of all, the movie starts with bit by Sri Derek Jacobi! (le sigh) So things have been filled with wonders of the mind, heart and history, which is the whole point of falling in love with this mystery! The history is so rich and stunning, that is' impossible to walk away from the subject. That should pretty much catch you up on the cave I've been hiding in. If you're interested I hang out on facebook a great deal now days. Look me up, I'm in the book! LOL..... See you soon! Remember to sing HU.... and be grateful... oh... for just everything, including the days you want to toss back into the cosmic stream! Love ya!

Notes on father... Hank Garland

I've been posting and following a blog about my father for several years. http://recordmymind.com/blog/?p=593#comments

I have family members who have the most strange imaginations I've ever come across. Paranoid and laced with conspiracy theories of the most outlandish sort, I've learned this lifetime that reality just isn't enough for some people. So for a while, I've dabbled in sharing a bit of my experiences on line. Truth be told, but for a handful of very special friends and of course relatives, I've not shared very much about my childhood. I was taught by my mother that you do not share, when your Dad is famous and is the bread winner. So I have little or no respect for tabloid types who wish that life had tapped their dance card for that 15 minutes of fame. Fame is not what its cracked up to be! <sigh>

Anyway... I've a few posts across the net about my childhood. Today I decided to post something of the truth that I'd not felt comfortable posting before now. Now its time to say something. I'm just tired... and frankly I've grandchildren and a daughter-in-law who might come across the insanity of my Dad's so called movie and the stories that surround it. It's just time to speak my peace before its too late. <wink> Hope you don't hold this against me... but if you must, I guess I can take it.. after all, I lived it! <sigh>

My post today:

There were no mafia hit men. <sigh> It was an automobile accident, period. I can add to this whole story the fact that my father was severally addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that he had visited a
psychiatrist prior to his accident. It's the most common story of all, given all the examples we've seen to date of people finding fame and the fast lane.  When you think about the disaster addictions have on peoples lives, imagine when you add the pressures of public life as well. This is the damage that my sister and I come from. There was infidelity on Dad's part. Drugs, alcohol, women and physical abuse. And frankly, my Mom wasn't prepared for dealing with this.  Dad was who he was. And for all his talent and generosity and his love, he was out of control towards the end. His friends were all deeply concerned and god bless them... silent about all this. We had nothing in the bank, what with a new house and car. After Dad's accident, his barber
brought us bags of groceries he'd collected from his church for us, because he knew we had absolutely no money! Dad's friends would give us a few dollars here and there Mom was too proud to ask anyone for help. We went from being well respected and part of the music community, to nobody with nothing, overnight. Tough lessons in store for all of us.

My uncle was not around during this time. That's why his stories have so many mistakes in them. It has to do with the lack of empathy in the stories. Don't confuse empathy with compassion or decency. It simply
means insight into a real life. Sure it was glamorous to meet big named stars and to go to the different recording studios to watch the creative process of making a record. It was fun being known in stores
and parties and such and  treated as if we were something special, but even at a very young age I recognized it was illusion. What people can't see, they seldom imagine correctly. Nope..... they imagine spectacular things that never happen in the real world. It's all just gossip in its different forms. If they knew what a monumental achievement surviving that life might have been, they'd faint! <smile>

My Mom was an ordinary midwest housewife with a great sense of humor and lots of love. She was also a punching bag for most of her so called glamorous life. My Dad was actually a genius, literally. He only had a 3rd grade education, but he had the intelligence of a college grad. He did manage to teach himself calculus and trig.<shudder> He also had the temperament of a genius. He had a wonderful laugh and loved practical jokes! Someday I may tell you about how he glued my mothers rubber flipflops to the bath room floor one night! <smile> They were full characters in a genuine life. And everytime I spoke to my father, he'd break down in tears and apologize to me for the way he treated Mom. He'd break your heart when he talked about her and how much she meant to him. I honestly believe he meant every word.... gods honest truth! <wink>