Monday, December 19, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Every now and then I just miss her......
It's that time of year again... when I suddenly get moody and feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat for no reason whatsoever. This has been going on most of my life, so you would think I'd be getting over it by now but .... apparently not. It's not as bad as it used to be, though! <perky smile> I'm not even certain of the exact date anylonger, but this is the week my mother died. I was 15 years old when she passed. It was the result of an auto accident, very unexpected. She was in her mid 30's when she passed. Funny how at 61 I'm finally beginning to realize just how young that actually was! Not much older than my baby, and not that much younger than my oldest. Anyway.... not to wallow or anything.... just sharing that the pain still shows up even with the smiles I finally found not too long ago! Took a long time to find my way to those happy memories of her, and now they are cherished. I miss you Mom. Angel hugs......
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Once upon a time <smile> I fell in love with Shakespeare. I was pretty young, in fact a preteen when this love hit me, deeply. Of course being a preteen it was circumvented by the first boy who paid attention to me! But unlike that first boy, Shakespeare has remained my heart! Hear that Dennis!? So when I started digging into the resources I found on line, on this topic I was at first taken aback by something called the Authorship Issue. Hmmmmm.... My life is nothing but learning to deal with feuds as is evidenced in this blog, so of course I was hooked immediately! Soon I was immersed in the tales of who begot whom and how this apparently proved identity. But a really smart guy named Mark Alexander set me straight with his web site Shakespeare Authorship Sourcebook, a truly remarkable site that offers the richest section of links one could hope for and of course, Mark's style of truth from his perspective is a lesson in the prose, itself! After years of newsgroup battles besides this man, I learned the mind can easily be the most deadly weapon when wielded by brilliance. From his works to the writings of one J. Thomas Looney the author of Shakespeare Identified. For anyone who is interested by the way, Mark's wondrous site is located: Shakespeare Authorship Sourcebook From this web site I found myself reading everything I could find on the topic. I wandered over to The Shakespeare Fellowship where I found Shakespeare Matters which is filled with marvelous writers on the Authorship Issue, all them well known. On this site is an article called " Shakespeare's Knowledge of Law- A Journey of the History of the Arguments" which is probably the best article I've read on how the law plays into the identity of Shakespeare as one Edward De Vere. After taking the time to read and mull over what Mark shared, I then found myself on The De Vere Society UK. Now before I overwhelm you with all these sites, I've one more that I'd like to share! A German book now published in English called Anonymous Shakes-Speare Earl of Oxford the Man Behind by Kurt Kreiler It has been a rather confusing trip to date. First of all, there are factions with the groups who have formed around the Authorship Issue. And these factions are as gnarly at times as the factions one finds when exploring politics! <smile> I am for the most part most interested in the Oxfordian story minus the factions and side stories, but that's just me. I like to find my way around the base line first before I add icing. I can share though, that these factions have a champion in the writer John Orloff II, from the Band of Brothers fame! He worked his screenplay into a project by Roland Emmerich called Anonymous. Although the story does follow some threads of what is referred to as the Prince Tudor Theory, it appears it will be great fun as a movie! The reviews certainly look promising so far. It has an all star cast which boggles the mind: Rhyus Ifans, Jamie Campbell Bower, Joely Richardson, and her amazing mother Vanessa Redgrave. And best of all, the movie starts with bit by Sri Derek Jacobi! (le sigh) So things have been filled with wonders of the mind, heart and history, which is the whole point of falling in love with this mystery! The history is so rich and stunning, that is' impossible to walk away from the subject. That should pretty much catch you up on the cave I've been hiding in. If you're interested I hang out on facebook a great deal now days. Look me up, I'm in the book! LOL..... See you soon! Remember to sing HU.... and be grateful... oh... for just everything, including the days you want to toss back into the cosmic stream! Love ya!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Notes on father... Hank Garland
I've been posting and following a blog about my father for several years. http://recordmymind.com/blog/?p=593#comments
I have family members who have the most strange imaginations I've ever come across. Paranoid and laced with conspiracy theories of the most outlandish sort, I've learned this lifetime that reality just isn't enough for some people. So for a while, I've dabbled in sharing a bit of my experiences on line. Truth be told, but for a handful of very special friends and of course relatives, I've not shared very much about my childhood. I was taught by my mother that you do not share, when your Dad is famous and is the bread winner. So I have little or no respect for tabloid types who wish that life had tapped their dance card for that 15 minutes of fame. Fame is not what its cracked up to be! <sigh>
Anyway... I've a few posts across the net about my childhood. Today I decided to post something of the truth that I'd not felt comfortable posting before now. Now its time to say something. I'm just tired... and frankly I've grandchildren and a daughter-in-law who might come across the insanity of my Dad's so called movie and the stories that surround it. It's just time to speak my peace before its too late. <wink> Hope you don't hold this against me... but if you must, I guess I can take it.. after all, I lived it! <sigh>
My post today:
There were no mafia hit men. <sigh> It was an automobile accident, period. I can add to this whole story the fact that my father was severally addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that he had visited a
psychiatrist prior to his accident. It's the most common story of all, given all the examples we've seen to date of people finding fame and the fast lane. When you think about the disaster addictions have on peoples lives, imagine when you add the pressures of public life as well. This is the damage that my sister and I come from. There was infidelity on Dad's part. Drugs, alcohol, women and physical abuse. And frankly, my Mom wasn't prepared for dealing with this. Dad was who he was. And for all his talent and generosity and his love, he was out of control towards the end. His friends were all deeply concerned and god bless them... silent about all this. We had nothing in the bank, what with a new house and car. After Dad's accident, his barber
brought us bags of groceries he'd collected from his church for us, because he knew we had absolutely no money! Dad's friends would give us a few dollars here and there Mom was too proud to ask anyone for help. We went from being well respected and part of the music community, to nobody with nothing, overnight. Tough lessons in store for all of us.
My uncle was not around during this time. That's why his stories have so many mistakes in them. It has to do with the lack of empathy in the stories. Don't confuse empathy with compassion or decency. It simply
means insight into a real life. Sure it was glamorous to meet big named stars and to go to the different recording studios to watch the creative process of making a record. It was fun being known in stores
and parties and such and treated as if we were something special, but even at a very young age I recognized it was illusion. What people can't see, they seldom imagine correctly. Nope..... they imagine spectacular things that never happen in the real world. It's all just gossip in its different forms. If they knew what a monumental achievement surviving that life might have been, they'd faint! <smile>
My Mom was an ordinary midwest housewife with a great sense of humor and lots of love. She was also a punching bag for most of her so called glamorous life. My Dad was actually a genius, literally. He only had a 3rd grade education, but he had the intelligence of a college grad. He did manage to teach himself calculus and trig.<shudder> He also had the temperament of a genius. He had a wonderful laugh and loved practical jokes! Someday I may tell you about how he glued my mothers rubber flipflops to the bath room floor one night! <smile> They were full characters in a genuine life. And everytime I spoke to my father, he'd break down in tears and apologize to me for the way he treated Mom. He'd break your heart when he talked about her and how much she meant to him. I honestly believe he meant every word.... gods honest truth! <wink>
I have family members who have the most strange imaginations I've ever come across. Paranoid and laced with conspiracy theories of the most outlandish sort, I've learned this lifetime that reality just isn't enough for some people. So for a while, I've dabbled in sharing a bit of my experiences on line. Truth be told, but for a handful of very special friends and of course relatives, I've not shared very much about my childhood. I was taught by my mother that you do not share, when your Dad is famous and is the bread winner. So I have little or no respect for tabloid types who wish that life had tapped their dance card for that 15 minutes of fame. Fame is not what its cracked up to be! <sigh>
Anyway... I've a few posts across the net about my childhood. Today I decided to post something of the truth that I'd not felt comfortable posting before now. Now its time to say something. I'm just tired... and frankly I've grandchildren and a daughter-in-law who might come across the insanity of my Dad's so called movie and the stories that surround it. It's just time to speak my peace before its too late. <wink> Hope you don't hold this against me... but if you must, I guess I can take it.. after all, I lived it! <sigh>
My post today:
There were no mafia hit men. <sigh> It was an automobile accident, period. I can add to this whole story the fact that my father was severally addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that he had visited a
psychiatrist prior to his accident. It's the most common story of all, given all the examples we've seen to date of people finding fame and the fast lane. When you think about the disaster addictions have on peoples lives, imagine when you add the pressures of public life as well. This is the damage that my sister and I come from. There was infidelity on Dad's part. Drugs, alcohol, women and physical abuse. And frankly, my Mom wasn't prepared for dealing with this. Dad was who he was. And for all his talent and generosity and his love, he was out of control towards the end. His friends were all deeply concerned and god bless them... silent about all this. We had nothing in the bank, what with a new house and car. After Dad's accident, his barber
brought us bags of groceries he'd collected from his church for us, because he knew we had absolutely no money! Dad's friends would give us a few dollars here and there Mom was too proud to ask anyone for help. We went from being well respected and part of the music community, to nobody with nothing, overnight. Tough lessons in store for all of us.
My uncle was not around during this time. That's why his stories have so many mistakes in them. It has to do with the lack of empathy in the stories. Don't confuse empathy with compassion or decency. It simply
means insight into a real life. Sure it was glamorous to meet big named stars and to go to the different recording studios to watch the creative process of making a record. It was fun being known in stores
and parties and such and treated as if we were something special, but even at a very young age I recognized it was illusion. What people can't see, they seldom imagine correctly. Nope..... they imagine spectacular things that never happen in the real world. It's all just gossip in its different forms. If they knew what a monumental achievement surviving that life might have been, they'd faint! <smile>
My Mom was an ordinary midwest housewife with a great sense of humor and lots of love. She was also a punching bag for most of her so called glamorous life. My Dad was actually a genius, literally. He only had a 3rd grade education, but he had the intelligence of a college grad. He did manage to teach himself calculus and trig.<shudder> He also had the temperament of a genius. He had a wonderful laugh and loved practical jokes! Someday I may tell you about how he glued my mothers rubber flipflops to the bath room floor one night! <smile> They were full characters in a genuine life. And everytime I spoke to my father, he'd break down in tears and apologize to me for the way he treated Mom. He'd break your heart when he talked about her and how much she meant to him. I honestly believe he meant every word.... gods honest truth! <wink>
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Musings on the news......
Lieberman on Iraq I just finished reading Lieberman's editorial in the Washington Post... http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/28/AR2006122801055.html entitled "Why we need more troops in Iraq". His article is concluded by calling himself an Independent Democrat. It's fairly obvious that the war of misinformation has taken it's toll on all our sanity! I'm left to conclude that democracy is the first step towards a state of dissociative disorder.
Pelosi from the kitchen to the House I watched in amazement as the first woman to lead the House of Representatives took the gavel this last week! It's been a long road for women in this nation! We lag far behind other countries in terms of equal representation of women in our government. And like our dear Mr. Lieberman's claim to be a Democrat, equality is a label only! The ERA amendment fell short of passing and what we ended up with instead was the age of escalating plastic debt. It's no wonder we're faced with a government so adamant about marriage being one man and one woman! If two women get married, they can't pay the rent!
Oprah on innocence and being a celebrity Oprah defended her choice to start and fund a school in South Africa, because the children she met in American ghetto schools wanted I-Pods and Sneakers. So apparently one of the richest women in America can't abide by materialism and keeping up with trends! That's interesting.
me...... scratching my head Okay, so far this year is starting out to be very interesting, if not just a tad more dis-functional than usual!
Pelosi from the kitchen to the House I watched in amazement as the first woman to lead the House of Representatives took the gavel this last week! It's been a long road for women in this nation! We lag far behind other countries in terms of equal representation of women in our government. And like our dear Mr. Lieberman's claim to be a Democrat, equality is a label only! The ERA amendment fell short of passing and what we ended up with instead was the age of escalating plastic debt. It's no wonder we're faced with a government so adamant about marriage being one man and one woman! If two women get married, they can't pay the rent!
Oprah on innocence and being a celebrity Oprah defended her choice to start and fund a school in South Africa, because the children she met in American ghetto schools wanted I-Pods and Sneakers. So apparently one of the richest women in America can't abide by materialism and keeping up with trends! That's interesting.
me...... scratching my head Okay, so far this year is starting out to be very interesting, if not just a tad more dis-functional than usual!
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Ford Farewell... dressing the stage for Democrats in '07
Another former President laid to rest. And of course, the attention paid to the "healing of a nation" still sticks in my throat as I listened to the words of praise for this man who stood on the national stage for so short a period of time. Imagine.... the only man to serve in both the highest offices of this nation, purely because the men who held those positions were such utter crooks and thieves! Amazing.......
How convenient that we can reflect upon this so called "healing" at this particular time in history! Or is that my 60's cynicism flashing me back to reality once again? Is this the stage being set to face the Democrats in a few days, to remind them of the dangers of impeachment and what that would do to this nation? Imagine.... such an UnChristian like thing to bring up, impeachment! We just had numerous sermons on how sinful such a thing would be!
Buffalo Springfield
For What It's Worth
Stephen Stills, 1966
How convenient that we can reflect upon this so called "healing" at this particular time in history! Or is that my 60's cynicism flashing me back to reality once again? Is this the stage being set to face the Democrats in a few days, to remind them of the dangers of impeachment and what that would do to this nation? Imagine.... such an UnChristian like thing to bring up, impeachment! We just had numerous sermons on how sinful such a thing would be!
Buffalo Springfield
For What It's Worth
Stephen Stills, 1966
There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound Everybody look what's going down
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas in October?
Yesterday was a study in cultural contrasts. My youngest son and I went to the house of a relative of my oldest son. Now.... I seldom put much emphasis on Christmas, given that I'm not a Christian. Of course when my sons were small, we gave into the whole secular christmas experience for their sake. But yesterday I had a taste of other peoples traditions. I like my traditions just fine.
So this year the push has been on since before Halloween! Decorations suddenly showing up in grocery stores and drug stores with ghosts and goblins. Now... I've often thought to myself over the years how pretentious it is for children to wish for a white christmas... when winter doesn't start as a season until Dec. 21st! Sure... I know, it's the influence of an old show tune that made it into a movie, coupled with an image from Currier and Ives! Suddenly every weather man or woman is pushing the hopes of flakes of white on that special day! I appear to be looking at them, as the babble about the weather. But Christmas in October? Actually, that's closer to the date of Jesus' birth according to some scholars. Scholars aren't certain what date Jesus was actually born on. In fact, if you look up Saturnalia, you'll discover the reason we celebrate in December!
So pondering the inclusion of October into the season of Christmas, it occurred to me that we should forget the Catholic choice of December for this birthday celebration (Christ Mass) and pick a day in October! The weathers nicer, and travel is much easier. People can go outside, and get some fresh air and marvel at the changing of the colors of the leaves in fall. You can still have picnics and meet at parks. Parades would be more pleasant too! Yep... I think we should change the date of Christmas to better reflect the time when Jesus was actually born! Fire up the grill and bring on the Brauts! Toss the elves into the pile of leaves and break out that football! And when it's over, it's still nice enough outside to take down all the decorations! Makes sense!
So this year the push has been on since before Halloween! Decorations suddenly showing up in grocery stores and drug stores with ghosts and goblins. Now... I've often thought to myself over the years how pretentious it is for children to wish for a white christmas... when winter doesn't start as a season until Dec. 21st! Sure... I know, it's the influence of an old show tune that made it into a movie, coupled with an image from Currier and Ives! Suddenly every weather man or woman is pushing the hopes of flakes of white on that special day! I appear to be looking at them, as the babble about the weather. But Christmas in October? Actually, that's closer to the date of Jesus' birth according to some scholars. Scholars aren't certain what date Jesus was actually born on. In fact, if you look up Saturnalia, you'll discover the reason we celebrate in December!
So pondering the inclusion of October into the season of Christmas, it occurred to me that we should forget the Catholic choice of December for this birthday celebration (Christ Mass) and pick a day in October! The weathers nicer, and travel is much easier. People can go outside, and get some fresh air and marvel at the changing of the colors of the leaves in fall. You can still have picnics and meet at parks. Parades would be more pleasant too! Yep... I think we should change the date of Christmas to better reflect the time when Jesus was actually born! Fire up the grill and bring on the Brauts! Toss the elves into the pile of leaves and break out that football! And when it's over, it's still nice enough outside to take down all the decorations! Makes sense!
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